I am just starting to realise the reason I am having such a hard time at the moment.

My ex husband who I have cut out of my life, let back in for the sake of our adult children and had to cut out again for the sake of my sanity, is someone I will never have contact with again.

My son's girlfriends Mum has an awful habit of trying to get me to consider contact for the sake of the kids. I am always clear, never again. She knows he is abusive to me and until recently thought that information she knew (he bugged my house to spy on me) was unknown to me. I stopped her trying another attempt (which were wearing very thin) by telling her I knew he had bugged me in my home and never again.

Her reply shook me to my core despite the fact I already knew that she knew. She said "I didn't know you knew that!"

I was shocked but have since spoken to her about how upset I am. She attempts to be friendly but says that I will be the one to miss out on future family events. I am accepting that it is my choice to keep safe and not have my abuser in my life but devastated that I will be always the one to be cut out of my son's family events. To be clear I raised both my children mostly by myself with no financial or physical help from my ex. He just kept stalking me and causing as much distress as he could.

I am now so ill that I cannot work or function at a normal level of life. It really hurts that my ex will take all the good times without lifting a finger to help but I will be left out and only be included when it suits them.