Hello Marriedandconfused: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Here are links to a selection of articles, from PsychCentral's archives. The first 6 address the subject of emotional affairs from the perspective of the person who's having the affair. So these are actually more relevant to your husband. However perhaps they can provide you with some insight as well. Plus, if you feel you can, perhaps you might consider sharing them with your husband. And then there is a link to an article on dealing with betrayal, followed by 2 articles on the subject of personal boundaries within relationships or marriage:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-sure...tional-affair/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-way...tional-affair/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-ste...n-to-a-person/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/dealin...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-he...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...your-marriage/

My best wishes to you both...