Dnester, I can't help but notice that you don't really engage with any of the views expressed on your thread. You cycle back or switch to the same persistent beliefs/conclusions about yourself. It's as though you cannot allow for any possibilities challenging your beliefs, except for declarative answers to questions that likely have no definitive answers. Do you see how this cycle traps you in your current beliefs?

I do feel, subjectively, an obsessive quality to your thoughts. There are therapists using EMDR to disrupt obsessive thoughts--lessen their stranglehold--and I wonder if this is the approach your therapist is exploring, rather than using EMDR to elicit memories that would "prove" abuse (which would be irresponsible). Are you sure that you have not misinterpreted her suggestion of EMDR in order to fit your need to "find answers"?