Thanks for your replies.

I guess I always feel I'm in a raging storm and I'm on a ship getting tossed from side to side by gigantic waves. The inner turmoil is so intense that it's debilitating. It can be hard to focus and even listening to people can be difficult. I'm either dealing with flashbacks of being sexually abused or severely bullied by family members. I have a lot of strategies but they have limited success. It's easy to fall into despair. Strategies I have tried are EMDR, mindfulness, journalling, talk therapy, regular exercise, and now trying NLP and hypnosis.

Those abusers have no idea of the damage they did to me.