Slowly recovering, but I caved and had several teaspoons of kratom today to relieve anxiety and psychosis caused by it (it worked...). I was supposed to be slowly tapering off the stuff.

At least my tolerance is almost gone?

Getting "tactile" hallucinations still--or did they go away and come back? I'd have to check my journal (I keep a not-**** journal of my symptoms, mom's recommendation/urging to keep track of thing). I say "tactile" because I don't feel anything on my skin, but I feel forces and energy and the disgust of like I am being inappropriately touched when I walk by anyone else, even family members. Like I am being raped basically, but maybe less intense, but much more frequent. And little spikes of mental pain, sharp.

It's better now with the kratom but I can't rely on it after the withdrawal I went through.

Delusions? yes. I feel that my family is harassing me with negative energy, and people yelling at me when logically my brain says the conversation is not directed towards me. But the gut reaction is that I am being yelled at and abused on a regular basis.

I wish I could just rant about my symptoms to my psychiatrist but he acts like he doesn't really care, just wants things neat and tidy. I have a phone consultation with him this Friday, then an appointment next week, and I go back to work in a week and a half. Wish me luck. I think I can handle it. I have been mentally preparing.