No, I'm saying just the opposite!! Our relationship seems so much closer now because it's more normal. I don't feel the emotional pain of the yearning for what she can't give me. If I didn't have this medical condition, I would probably still feel it. The physical pain takes over, so T has become what she is supposed to be, my T. The focus is not on my relationship with her anymore, but on how she can help me face my challenging circumstances. I am in physical pain and have side effects of a new medicine. As I tell T how bad I feel, there are no barriers. It's hard to explain. I'd rather have the emotional pain than this chronic physical pain, but it has brought me to a place of connection with T that I always wanted. It's bittersweet. I don't know how to explain it any better.