I'm pretty sure I'm having what is known as a Wellbutrin high. My depression is almost, almost non-existent. It feels pretty good, for once.

So, why am I complaining?

Well, it's not so much complaining as much as it's a frustrated question.

Why is it that I'm finally not feeling depressed (even if it's only temporary), and I'm still fixated on death? I don't get it. I'm not so depressed I can't stand it, but my mind won't quit playing out suicidal fantasies.

Am I just doomed to do it?