I have cried a lot in the last week and a half. It’s strange for me as I normally don’t cry ever.

But my meltdown last Sunday seemed to have started me off on a crying spell that just keeps going on. Everything feels so raw right now, emotionally I am hurting a lot. And I don’t really know what’s up.

I really want it to stop though. I think I want to just go back to feeling nothing. Nothing is easier to handle. I’m just so tired of it all. The thought of just killing myself to stop it is very much there in my mind, but I am trying to push it away. I’m just struggling a lot lately and I don’t think I can cope with it much longer.