Sorry for the long post. I want to help you. I am empathising about your situation. It is very sad to me. In your situation, I would feel the same way. I see low self esteem. Understandable. I have low self esteem now as I look for a job. I am scared. First, stop beating yourself up. Now you can redo your resume without specifying your edjucation. Put in “some college”. Depending on the job, I think they would just be interested in knowing if you have graduated highschool.

Here are some further suggestions. Taylor the resume to the type of job that you are applying for. Leave out the irrelevant work experience. For instance, if the employer is looking for customer service skills, reframe your previous positions. “I used to develop software for a company, worked directly with the employee. I evaluated how best to solve their problems, provide for their needs. I served their needs, and I did it well. They were happy with my efforts. This part was very important to me. I enjoyed this aspect of my job.” So this part of my job is what I would focus on in the resume.

Focus on a similar view of previous jobs. Avoid most of the technical aspects of previous work. Fill in irrelevant work by giving a simple nondescriptive generic view of what you did, like for me that would be “wrote software”. All they need to know is do you have have an explaination of that specific time period of your work history. You can always fill in the details during an interview keeping in mind what the employer is looking for. You are there to sell yourself.

As far as the employment gap goes, you could tell them that you took care of your daughter until school age. This they can understand. Now you are ready to have a part time job. Do not tell them anything of your disability. You do not have to. IMO you should not. Another idea is to do the opposite. You can always say you ended up on disability, but now you are ready to hold down a job. This is if you are on disability. Do not give any specifics. Better yet, do not get a first job that requires a resume. Put on some weight.

If you find that you cannot hold down a job, I think your husband will understand. When your child gets older, they will understand too. Look at this as a positive. You have what most mothers do not have. Allot of time to spend with your child, being with them every step of the way. Your child will remember this for the rest of their life. So will you. In the end, all we have are memories to think of and share. I was able to provide this to my daughter. She has a rich positive set of memories now, even though I ended up screwing her up anyways.

Here is the most important thing I will restate. Are you ready to hold down a job, even though it may be only part time? If not, then that is the way it is. Do not feel guilty. If able to, try out part time work. If it does not work out, so what? You tried. No cost to you. This is where I would start, a flexible part time job. You work at maybe 20 hours a week or less. That is if you can manage it and the associated stress of a new job which may trigger you. Begin with a simple stress free mindless job. This will start giving you recent employment history. Then move on from there if you can. Any additional money for your family will help. Maybe start with volunteering to see how well you can function. Of course this will depend on handling the care of your child when you are at work.

I hope some of this will help. You are not alone. You have us here on PC. More importantly, you have your daughter. You are married to who appears to be an understanding husband. You are a family. This is the most important priceless part to me. If you are not on Medicaid, apply anyways. If you are not on SSI, apply. You do not need much work history for SSI. SSDI may still pay, but it will be a fraction of SSI, which is not much. IMO having children will help. I may be wrong here, but maybe this reply will give you something to think about. If it does just that, maybe only one sentence, I will feel this post has been worthwhile.

PS Some time ago, I was very good with resumes and interviews. I have been told this by a previous employer. I have had a manager of a different company call me out of nowhere. He called just to tell me that my resume was the best he has seen. Honest. This really surprised me. I did not follow the rules of writing a resume. This is probably why. LOL Unfortunately, he did not have any position for me at the time. Rats! What a bummer.