I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy either.

It's like, without the depression, my PTSD and other stuff seems more intense. It's all just... overwhelming, honestly. Today has gone: Memory, to suicidal, to memory, to suicidal and so on. I feel as though my depression gone is like the vail that hides away all of my other crap has lifted. More than anything, it covers up my questions and the anger that surrounds them.

I don't think my suicidal thoughts will leave until I properly handle the trauma. Even then, it might stick around a bit after.

I know this isn't the PTSD forum, but ****.... Why did those things have to happen? Who the **** thought it was alright to do that to a kid? What in the hell did I do to deserve.... And why do I still feel as though I still deserve it?

Just... why?