I am sorry you are having a hard time.

Don't believe those who perceive you as a loser. Believe in yourself which takes time to practice and often needs to be remembered when we are low.

It sounds like the term loser might be given to someone who pays someone to tell someone who they can date and the ex who was willing to let someone make her decisions rather than form her own opinion.

I am relatively new to this site but I find that there is always someone here who understands how you are feeling, so we are never really alone.