What do you all think about emailing my t? So it's me who's gone on holiday and not her. We've never discussed between sessions/email contact. I've once told her I really wanted to email her between sessions when I was struggling but that I didn't do it because we'd not talked about whether it was ok for me to do that or not. She didn't make any comment about it at all but just asked about other things around how I'd felt and what I had thought about.

Now it's day 7/19. I'm back home next week but because of my work and her attending training we couldn't find a day that would suit us both until the week after. I'm really really struggling. I start crying about the slightest thing and am constant sleeping. My family has taken over looking after the children because their whining and arguments are constantly making me cry. I feel like a total failure and like I'm ruining my children's life and my family's holiday. They've all been lovely and supportive. I'm like something rotting in the room. I'm constantly having suicidal thoughts but would never do that to my children which makes me feel even more trapped. I don't feel like anyone else understands it the same or can say the right words like t does. I desperately want to email her but don't know whether it's ok or not. She never said it wouldn't but didn't encourage it either. I feel so stuck and two more weeks is a long time to wait for the next appointment. I don't know how to help myself in the meantime and we never really discussed any little things I could do to help myself.

Also I'm constantly analysing the fact that she's promised to write this letter that's actually part of this type of therapy and she's now told me three times she'd write it for next time and never has. This is obviously affecting how I trust her and makes me a bit paranoid about whether she's reliable or whether it's just because she doesn't find me interesting enough to bother with. Also it was meant to be timelimited therapy. I told her initially I struggled with that idea and she said she could be flexible. Now we've almost done the amount of sessions she normally does with other clients and I'm worse if anything. Just leaves me wondering what on earth is going on? It's felt to me like she is very good at what she does but I'm just puzzled. And I don't feel like I can sit on all of this and how I feel for two more weeks. Or maybe I just have to.