When I consider hurtful comments made by people, I think about their intentions. Do I think they have my best interests at heart? If yes- I speak up and explain my uneasiness. If my sense is that the offender does NOT have my interest in their heart and they are hurting me- I cut them out of my life, f-them!
I suppose there are certain people I must continue communication with- like icky coworkers or really messed up relatives. Then I impose super strong boundaries of straight to the point information, nothing more, nothing less.
It’s tough with bosses who are selfish and need ego massaging- cause I won’t do it. Thank God for unions.