I think you are definitely getting better. At the end, you said you are ok and just having a moment. That right there proves things aren't that bad. Yesterday I was around some things that triggered me and I had intense anger and a ton on thoughts running through my head and I thought eff it, I will just stay to myself forever. Then when I got home later on, I felt better and realized thats exactly what I needed. To have those thoughts so that I could work through them and learn to cope better. So today is a better day and I am thinking more positively. Especially coming here to this site. It helps.