Ian, I recognize what you are going through because I went through it myslef with my depression. I can start to see it more clearly now as I am digging out of it. Depressed people love to blame everyone, lash out, do terrible things to people that they are closest to and love the most.

I was with a wonderful, loving woman for two years who really wanted to help me. Instead of being vulnerable and allowing her to help I pushed her away. The end result is that hse thinks the worst of me and I have lost not only a lover, but the dearest friend I ever had.

Your depression has robbed you of enough. Pleae don't let it rob you of any positive interaction you can have with people, even if it is people you only know through tis board.