Actually TMC that is really good and i get it... as a caregiver for my disabled sibling who has to take days to myself so I don't get burnout.

The kind and compassion side of me gets it and is totally happy for him. I hope he's having a good time and it will work, he will tell me all about it in two weeks.... but the problem is, I'm still having a hard time. Mostly I'm just scared I'll never be able to text or anything again. That has been hugely helpful for me in trust/comfort and it's NOT a daily thing. This will be the first time since we have texted last summer that I've gone 2 weeks without so it feels like a loss. I'm not sure how well I'd be able to trust him going forward if he comes back and is like "No more outside contact"-- because he says this isn't my fault but it sure feels like it IF that happens.

I'm trying really hard, I think I'm also struggling because my best friend, who I normally talk to about him, has ignored my texts for days too.... so it's like the two people I'm closest two are silent. Really painful