I have not experienced what you have with your T but I have a tiny window of understanding about how hard it is, especially with the suddenness. My T had surgery a few years ago, just months after my spouse died, after he was obviously not doing well physically. One week it was "I'm going to be out for 3 months starting next week."

Like you, I intellectually understood this was about him and not me, but it's especially hard for me when I *know* something and when I'm upset about it. Eventually I find it works itself out, but what I try during especially hard times is to learn one or two new coping strategies and keep trying them to see if they work for me. I wonder if creative visualization or greater physical activity might be useful for you. I find it distracting to search for new things to learn, sort through them, then implementing them.

I hope this time goes as easily as possible for you. For me it was helpful to try to learn something new and helpful and be able to report it back to T when he returned.