1. I am trusting in my emotions, just allowing myself to feel them. With him, I was crying all the time out of frustration from him not giving me the love/sex/attention that I need, no matter how I plead for it to become ‘his idea’ without me initiating.

2. I notice that if he does something that makes me happy, I feel loving and great toward him. I don’t think it’s idolizing him on a pedestal unrealistically— merely feeling good and satisfied.

3. Then, shortly after, he will not be consistent. He turns right back to being negligent. Then I feel trapped, miserable, traumatized, hysterical. This is the reason I need to divorce him.

4. Now that I found out he did do some underhanded things with money, my trust issues will only be worse. I don’t want a marriage where I am constantly policing him and nagging.

As far as my friend— I’ll never fully understand why she said those things to me. They aren’t fully true. But, I can’t change her. I can’t make her control what she says. It’s really not my job to be her therapist. So sad and unfortunate.