I feel much better today couch. Thanks for hugs when I offloaded last night. A very angry and hurt part of myself was in charge. I sent T an angry email and he didn't respond. I emailed him again today saying I was feeling better today and reflecting on what happened last night (there are much more angry emails to him in my drafts folder which I will share with him on Wed). I told him it is my birthday and he said "Happy birthday!". It's the first time he ever said that to me in the years we have worked together and it matters to me.