I have been blessed with stability for 4 years. No hospitalizations or major mood swings and 2 years since my last suicidal ideation, for this I am elated. But.....

I want a life. I got the right meds but they have taken so much from me, my passion, my spirit and even the ability to carry on regular conversations. I just am. I am not the things that made me special, all of that has been sacrificed to meds and this disease.

I know many of you can not imagine a year without symptoms let alone 4 and i dont want to sound like i dont appreciate it but i am tired of being a blob. i want to draw again and walk my dogs (anxiety is still with me and i dont leave my home without my husband)

Am i being greedy?