Thanks, good question. The goal is to be... less attached, I think.

I'm thinking in terms of my maternal transference with my T where I was feeling very attached. It seemed like I was thinking obsessively about her and getting so worked up about how she didn't actually care about my wellbeing, and I was very jealous of her family, I resented her wealth and lifestyle, etc etc etc...

I mentioned this to a couple of people while I was going, and they all said, "Maybe you should go in every other week or only once a month to lessen some of that pain." My T suggested the same thing once, and I've read here that some people have a similar, less frequent therapy schedule.

I understand that seeing her weekly was just constantly salting the wound, but on the other hand, I thought going in less would only build my anger, jealousy, and resentment because I wouldn't have the weekly "release" in seeing her. There'd just be more time to stew.

That's the logic I've always assumed, but I'm really curious about other perspectives. I've been out of therapy for four weeks now-- and in the 7 weeks before that, I only saw her twice--and though I am devastated in a number of ways, there is a noticeable difference in my peace of mind when I don't have to constantly see her and be reminded of my motherlessness. I wonder if it would've helped me in the long run to have seen her less.

eta. (When I was seeing her, all I wanted was to see her more.)