i am sorry i worried you kiya... i am hanging in there... i even used the treadmill yesterday... i was just discouraged when i had to update my chart for t... i know he hasn't abandoned me...i know that missions is really important to him... that is what makes him such a good t... but those old messages "your not worth it" "no one cares" "just give up" flooded me... i am actually doing a bit better...with my panic attacks... i was wanting to give up on trying to stay away from si... lyn