Quote:
Originally Posted by greenplants
To answer the question about why I spend so many nights at his house is because I live nearly an hour away, with my work place between us, so I can go either to his place or mine, but driving home after visiting isn't affordable for me. He knows that if I visit I stay the night, and he asks me to come over nearly every day. I know that we need days apart, but we really enjoy each other's company.
There are, as in any relationship, new things that I find irritating or different than I'm not used to, but none of them really make me worry but this one and his history of short relationships (his longest being only 1.5 yrs, mine was 11.5 yrs). I can somewhat understand the short relationships but the pillow thing I take personally. I sometimes feel like I'm blowing it out of proportion, but any which way, I still go to sleep next to someone feeling like I've lost the subconscious competition for his affection... if that makes sense.
It's not the part of him physically sleeping with the pillow, it's the unknown psychological aspect. It wouldn't even be an issue if
1. I got that loving/bonding time before bed or sleeping
2. He said he sleeps with it for ANY other reason, I understand back pain or comfort or whatever, but an ex is just bothersome.
3. If he cuddled her so much that he started with a pillow when they parted, then why won't he cuddle me? (And No, I don't stink or anything  ) |
He likely cuddled her and isnt cuddling you because he likely knew her for awhile and had deep connection, he only knows you for a short time. There wasn’t enough time to develop closeness. He could possibly not feeling it. You can’t force someone to cuddle you.
You aren’t getting bonding loving time from him because it’s just not there. It might develop eventually but your expectation of close intimate connection and love and almost cohabitation that soon is extremely unrealstuc. It comes across needy.
If you can’t afford driving home you shouldn’t be visiting him daily. Even if he asks you, it doesn’t mean you should visit daily. You are sending him message that you have no life outside of him and your job. After only two months? For you to stay there 5 days you need to have your entire work week wardrobe there.
And if your job is between your two places then why aren’t you driving home from work? Why not just see each other maybe twice a week for a date? Do you actually date and go places and explore stuff together? Or you just drive there from work every day and sleep over? And you continue sleeping over even though you don’t feel his affection? Why? Why not just date like other people do? Does he ever come to your place? Or meet you places? Or take you somewhere? Why do you always go there?
Now I understand need for affection and so on but not after only two months!