Hi all, thanks for the support. My appointment was....complicated. She asked me if I had ever thought about going inpatient which didn't make me feel very good and she said she doesn't get what my former T and I did for 10 years. Like, basically, why I'm not better, which generally made me feel like crap.

But as a cognitive behavioral therapist she did give me a few ideas which I may be able to incorporate but she's not a long term therapist and I feel like any minute she's going to drop me which I don't want to happen after just losing my T of 10 years due to her illness. I'm starting to like this new T although she is in no way a substitute for my former T. She pretty much told me she thinks I will self harm the rest of my life which also made me feel pretty bad but I disagree because I need to have hope that that's not the case. I miss my former T so much and I just really wish I could go back to the safety of her office.