My place in my family has had an enormous impact on my life. I was born to middle-aged parents. My sisters were 15 and 18 years older than I. Until age 7 I was adored by my family, fussed over, and well cared for. That gave me good confidence.


Then my parents suddenly divorced, my oldest sister was married, and my middle sister moved out. Life turned upside down for me. I was left, the only one, to care for my mother - who had become quite mentally disturbed from my father leaving the marriage. My mother also had severe cardiac illness. She could be loving in one moment, absolutely insanely psychotic (truly) in the next moment. My father and sisters kind of disappeared, more or less. My mother remarried, a man who was also mentally unwell and very abusive.

I had nephews and nieces that were much closer in age to me than to my sisters. I loved being an aunt.

For the past 20 years, since the rest of my original family members (including aunts, uncles, etc.) people have been dying. Lost all my grandparents, aunts, uncles when I was quite young. I was 25 when my father died and 42 when my mother died. I lost my precious (middle) sister last year. Being so much younger than the rest of the family, the losses came early in my life.