Hello Ximxum: I'm sorry I probably don't have a lot to offer in the way of advice with regard to the situation you describe. Hopefully there will be some other members, here on PC, who will have some thoughts they can offer.
The thing I always go back to, when I read about relationships such as the one you describe here, is an aphorism a person I used to know was fond of: "If you want to know which way the bullet's going, look down the barrel of the gun." If you re-read what you've written here, you may see what your life will continue to look like if you stay with this man.

I doubt that's the type of observation you want to hear. But it is, I'm afraid, my perspective.
I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
One other forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the women-focused support forum. Here's a link:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/women-focused-support/
Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of interest:
8 Early Warning Signs a Relationship Will Fail
12 Steps to Break Your Addiction to a Person
5 Relationship Red Flags: What You Should Know
Communication Pitfalls & Pointers for Couples; Psych Central
https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-he...ries-in-yours/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-ways...dium=popular17
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/heali...relationships/
My best wishes to you...