Hello moonperson: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Another forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the anxiety forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...c-and-phobias/

I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't really offer you any definitive insight into what your experiences are all about. It may be that this is all something you will need to delve into with the help of a skilled mental health therapist. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will have some insights they can share as well.

In your title, you wrote you feel empty. Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that talk about what to do when you feel empty, when you feel angry all the time, & when you feel lost:

Emptiness: The Un-Feeling Feeling | Childhood Emotional Neglect

When You Feel Empty: What It Means & What to Do

I feel Empty Inside -3 Fixes for Feeling Nothing | Sext, Text & What's Next: Teens, Young Adults & Technology

When You Feel Lost

https://psychcentral.com/blog/angry-...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...from-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/so-you...-never-expect/

My best wishes to you...