My apologies. His ex girlfriend. But he did live with her for almost 2 years. Yes they sounded like the fought physically a bit when she relapse. But to be honest, I’m unsure the extent and who would start the hitting, she was a feisty woman when she was high and she was bipolar.(she was around when we started dating, they stayed friends until she overdosed a year into us dating) I know he broke up with her when she was in rehab as he felt that was the safest place to break it off with her without her harming herself.

It sounded like overall he took care of a lot of the bills after she lost her job, but she did get disability after awhile.

When we first started dating, he made the comment that he never wanted to get married, never have kids and anywhere we went was going to be his place because he didn’t ever want to be put into a position where he had to move back home again (he had moved in with her and when things fell apart had to move back home)
We started dating and 3 years in, I had our daughter and he had a permanent smile on his face when she was born. We didn’t get married right away and had my son a few years later, 8.5 years into dating, we got married. Then had our 3 child. (We been together for 16 years total)

Things overall seem good, we really neve fought. I never rushed him into marriage, we got married in our minds at the time cause my daughter was starting school and figured what the heck,let’s get married we’ve been living like we were married for so long, might as well. I’m a socially awkward person so we did just the courthouse wedding, but I was happy about it.

Fast forward as I’m trying my best to end the emotional affair in June, he lashed out at me saying if “I never ended up knocked up I would have had to worry about this cause we would have never been married”. And he’s been unhappy for a while now. And that he’s trapped cause he does want to leave his kids and if I try to end it he would kill himself.

Last week when I was trying to talk to him and he shut down and started to get real defensive. (Trying to ask him about some of the comments he made to me in May, he made a comment towards the end of her and his “friendship” that he didn’t know how to love, and he never loved anyone as much as I love him and never did and I deserved better)
The next day I cried all day over the fact we couldn’t communication and got the strength to say I don’t need him, if he not in this for me and only for the convenience he could go. I’ve never said anything like that to him. He has since apologized saying he love me and he sorry he hurt me Said he just never envision himself in a long term relationship with anyone, it’s nothing against me (but he told me years ago he wanted to marry his ex, he claims he doesn’t recall that) and he just didn’t envision his life as it is. But he couldn’t ask for a better wife.

He has been trying to do actions such as hold my hand and he will rub my back when I sit down. Little lovey things that’s been missing for so long. I should also mention that we never had date nights or anything like that in years, since my mother in law passed away. We have been trying to fit those in since our oldest is now 13 and we feel comfortable with her babysitting her brothers for a few hours (the youngest is almost 7)

But the words from before still hurt a lot cause it completely caught me off guard. And he would talk bad about me to the 61 year old and also the other vendor whom he had befriended and was sending the 61 year butt pictures and crude(sexual) comments about her. I wish I knew the extent of it, but from what I had read from text to the guy he made me sound like a controlling jerk.

From what I can gather from what he told her is that she made comment about hell of a home life (we were fighting all the time for months as I found out little piece by piece of their “friendship” and how obsessed he was with her) I made the comments to him that he trashed me to her and he didn’t disagree. Which I don’t understand cause I’ve always been affectionate and loving, always do stuff for him, complement him and let him know I appreciate him and everything I could to make him happy.

If you would have told me a year ago, I would have been going thru this, I would have told you that you’re crazy. I guess that’s what makes it even worse is I never saw this coming.