For me, my feelings for T are not the difficult subject to discuss. I have told him that I love him, I have told him that I know that he loves me (and he agreed), I have told him that I hate him and I want to kill him, I have told him that I would be willing to give up everything in my life to just to be his baby, I have told him dreams about him with sexual connotation, I have told him that I want to cut off his penis, I have told him about a fantasy of being forced to f... with him etc etc.

Maybe these things were difficult in the first year of my therapy but for now, there are many things that are far more difficult. Talking about what I do in my life, with whom I relate, how I do that, what I think about myself and these other people is far more difficult. For instance, I haven't been able to tell my T that I read and write in PC and even thinking about telling him what I write here or giving him to read my posts just seems so impossible to me - it instantly sends me swimming into an ocean of shame.