I'm curious, is anyone else "afraid" of themselves connecting with others? I've grown afraid of myself, because any time I try to make a friend or a have a relationship I somehow manage to mess everything up. I get too intense, I think, or I just shut down, or perhaps the worst, I go into the mindset that I'm going to "test" the other person to see how much they actually care by shutting off communication to see if they put in the effort (they never seem to, though). Is this a thing? I want to connect but I'm scared to connect because I'm scared I'll mess it up and I'll be alone anyways, and I guess my mind thinks it's better to be alone by choice than to have people leave.