I sabotage my own efforts to make friends. I am afraid of rejection and I just don’t read people well. Sometimes after I’ve completely pulled away from someone because they didn’t seem to be reciprocating, the person is hurt and kind of confused. Clearly I don’t always communicate so well and there’s too much going on in my own head. I do best when I let go of expectations of others and just accept the relationship as it is. Not every friendship will be built into a solid long-term and healthy relationship and in fact most aren’t. If a person doesn’t seem to reciprocate much I just pull back but I don’t just cut people off or “test” them. I used to do that a lot and now I struggle with building healthy friendships because I guess I don’t know how to. This behavior comes from insecurity and I agree with Shadow’s suggestion to also look at things from the other person’s perspective. The thing I have struggled with lately is that I have often reached out to get to know people and invite them to things but rarely does anybody reciprocate and invite me to things. It hurts my feelings when somebody I have included in my life talks about all the other events and things they’re doing and not one time was I invited. I don’t get it. This leads me to start feeling down on myself, like I don’t measure up and I’m always the outsider. Sometimes I get upset and decide I’ll just stop inviting people. But how else do I try to make friends? I totally get your frustration and I wish I had better answers but I struggle with this stuff too.