Well, for the first time in all my twenty-nine years I stood up to my grandmother. I stood up to her and held firm. She was getting ready to chew me out, but I told her I had nothing else to say and said, "I'm closing the door."

And I did it!!! I actually stood up to her. I actually stood up to anybody (but especially someone in my family). Thank God for this! I wasn't loud and angry like she was, but I simply ended it and would not engage in it or let her talk to me any kind of way.

I'm not self blaming and trying to figure out what's wrong with me (though I was leaning that way). I can see that I may not be perfect, but that doesn't make her all powerful. I love her dearly, but I don't have to accept just any kind of abusive or rude behavior from people. I can respectfully set boundaries. I'm learning that it's best to do that with some people.

I must admit standing up was one of the most UNCOMFORTABLE things I have ever done in my life! I felt physically unstable and shaky. I was scared. I tried to make myself busy so she would hopefully not say anything. I'm still a little on edge. I feel like I want to disappear. But I'm okay. Whew.