I desire marriage myself after six years single (I was quite content for awhile there as well so wanting marriage surprised me lol). I'm honestly learning how to even begin to navigate healthy relationships with others let alone romantic ones (I'm basically a very mature child in a 29 year old body due to childhood trauma). Maybe I can share what I learn along the way. Lesson one for me...I have more love around me than I think.

The last relationships I had with men...lets see...one guy who had a crush on me invited me out and told me he was an alcoholic (we were nineteen). I definitely understand that we all struggle, but that (and other reasons...mainly he that he got around) was cause for pause for me.

There was another guy who I was talking to around that age. He told me that I looked so good he wanted to rape me when he first saw me. Lets just say that should have been a HUGE red flag for me and I shouldn't have gone out with him. I'm still learning how to not walk into abuse. There was another guy that told me he was a sociopath when we first hung out (and I still hung out with him). My last boyfriend accused me of "leaving him hanging" after I spent a week in the ward (it's taken me six years to understand how insensitive he was for saying that and why it hurt me so much). I sure knew how to pick em lol!

Thanks to anyone for sharing. Disclosure is one of my biggest fears when it comes to getting close to a man. I don't want my guy to run away screaming. I know that people do commit to each other though despite our imperfectness. That gives me hope.