Your post made me register to this site after years of just reading. I just want to encourage you to let her go, for your own good. She is gaslighting you. Last year,I had to end my friendship with my best friend after constant psychological abuse from this person. I was always afraid to be mean despite the fact that this person always used my weaknesses against me; manipulated me; and even expose my private struggles with other people. This person also tells me that he/she is depressed and suicidal despite not getting formally diagnosed. I help with getting this person a free psychiatrist but this person always refused. As such I always minded this person's struggles more than my own, and despite having episodes myself due to this person's abusive behavior, I neglected my own health for this person's sake.

Dear Miss Laura, please let go of your toxic "friend." It will be painful, but it will be painful all the more if you choose to hold on. You will see this person in your neighborhood, it will be awkward, but it's so rewarding to be free from your chains. This person will keep on gaslighting you if you don't let her go, because as long as you have connection, she knows she has power over you.

Let her go and don't look back.

It will be hard especially with mutual friends who will make ways just for you to to reconcile, but ask them for respect. For the sake of your stability, you need to cut off emotional vampires.

Let her go and even if others won't understand, you owe it yourself. Please do.

The more you don't want to upset anyone including your emotional predators that drain you, the more you will end up depressed. There's a quote that says "if you try to please everyone, the only person you will not please is yourself."

I'm sorry if I sound pushy but I really hope you free yourself from her. God bless you. You deserve better. All the best to your mom.