I could have written what you did, except it's been 3 years for me and one, short (1 week) bout of hypomania, without euphoria, even.

I am stable, but have lost all creativity, my memory is shot, I feel like I just go blindly from day to day, and life passes me by far too fast. And anxiety stays with me like super glue. I'm in therapy, and it's helped a bit, but I'm still a very anxious person.

No, I don't think it's greedy to want more. I just wish I could tell you how to go about it.

One thing I will share is that 2 pdoc's have now told me that klonopin can really affect you cognitively. Now that my anxiety is a teensy bit better, my therapist raised the possibility of taking less in the morning. I'll talk to my pdoc next I see her about taking .75 for a while (I'm on 1 mg) and then get it down to .5. Part of me is terrified (and I'm going to ask her to keep giving me scripts for 1mg just in case I chicken out, or feak out anxiety-wise) but I'm hoping that it will clear my head a bit. I also drink an enormous amount of coffee to get through the day on 1 mg of klonopin and my therapist said that that can increase my heart rate and then lead to more anxiety. Maybe I could drink less coffee on less klonopin. Mind you, I'd still take the 1mg at night becuase it helps enormously for me to sleep (so you see the challenges in the morning!).

So my point is this. Do you take a benzo, at least PRN? Maybe lessening, little by little, that dose would help wake you up a bit?

I know exactly how you feel, so if I find something that helps I'll share and if you do, please share as well.

Best of luck.