Thank you everyone for your responses. It's comforting to know that I'm not that alone. I am involved in a psycho-social group at the hosptial but I find I feel like the wieredest one in the group. I just feel like everyone has it better than me. Even though we are all going through similar battles I feel like I am less than them. I feel that way with everybody because I feel everyone is smarter or just better than me. I am always aloof. I hate speaking up cus I find I sound so stupid or than people can see how "not cool" I am, in the sense that I stay quiet and put up a front so not to looke stupid and give too much away as to who I really am. I know that sounds stupid but I guess that's my defense mechansism to trying not to look out of place and just as equal to others. Anyways sorry for the babbling on.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm glad I shared this becasue I got such good support, and to know that people understand makes it a little easier to cope with.