I have been sharing about my insomnia lately. I think it's connected to sadness/grief which is exacerbated every July.

I have lost 2 brothers, both in July. Tragedies.
I have lost 4 close family members in a plane crash, also in July.

In addition, the retirement of my former pdoc has been a huge loss.
Getting to know my new pdoc has been very triggering.

I have skipped a wake today because I am too … triggered. I feel like a loser for skipping the wake; yet, I am way over stimulated, and need sleep. Sounds are now getting very distorted, my mood is suffering, etc.

I am treating my anxiety with additional clonazepam, with my pdoc's blessing.

I hope I can wind down and can sleep tonight. It has been 3 consecutive nights without sleep, very anxious/unsettled all night long.

Love to all.

WC