Hey WC, Please, please let go of any guilt about not attending the wake. I've been in a very similar situation after way too many losses...I just
could not attend one more funeral or memorial service. My legs would not have carried me in; my feet would have been mired as if in cement. Actually getting inside the place could not happen. Sometimes instinct kicks in and it knows what is best for us.
Is there anything you can take prn (stronger than Klonopin, but safe) to knock you out so you can get a good stretch of sleep? I know that you know how important sleep is to our stability. I'm far more concerned about the lack of sleep than about not going to the wake.