I am so sorry this is such a tough month for you I would find it a triggering month to be sure if all that had happened to me in one month. Skipping a wake is not always the worst thing. I couldn't be there for my mother-in-law's wake and funeral in December (we could only afford 1 plane ticket to send my husband from Texas to California), and I am not at all sad that my last memories of her are of her alive and having fun with my daughter.

I can relate completely about losing your pdoc. My pdoc of over 10 years is retiring. I think she may be still be working but she's there less & less, probably until all or most of her current patients get re-situated; she's sometimes still at the clinic, but I got her to use her influence to get me in with the other pdoc there (very highly rated, with a 6 month waiting list), and I've been able to see him to see how it would work out. He is very good, but he is not my old pdoc, and he adheres tightly to his schedule unless he should have an emergency (in other words, does a bit less chatting, straight down to business). But on the other hand, you can pretty much count on your appointment being exactly on time, he has an emergency cell phone you can call outside of office hours for non-911 urgent issues, not many pdocs have that. He will call you back within an hour or 2 if you call it in the daytime; I've never had to call it late at night like at 3 AM. I doubt anyone could live up to my retiring pdoc. I got so lucky getting 10 years with her. I never realized she was so highly rated (all 5 star ratings, any where you looked) in this area, and just got lucky that my PCP recommended the clinic, and she had the opening when I needed it. She is a wonderful person and deserves to enjoy her retirement, but I get you, it is a loss. It it hard to adjust to a new pdoc and different methods during your appointment.

If you can't sleep tonight, I think you should call you pdoc tomorrow and ask about something else for sleep instead. Low dose Seroquel works very well for sleep for a lot of people. You could ask if you could try it. Seroquel is of the best meds I've ever taken for sleep.

How much clonazepam are you taking? Clonazepam never helps me for sleep. Well, I take it in 1 mg tablets, and if I take all 4 at once it might make me a bit drowsy, but it won't get me to sleep.

I hope you get some sleep tonight. Take care of yourself