I’m really struggling with boredom. I feel overwhelmingly bored all of the time. It’s not a pleasant feeling. But I have no motivation to do anything. I can’t even think of anything to do. I know I’m going to sleep/lay in bed all day tomorrow simply because there is nothing else to do. I didn’t hear back from that job yet, and I feel that means I didn’t get it. I mean it’s only been two days, maybe they’re checking my references, but I’m losing hope. I don’t know what to do with myself.

I reaaaaaLllly want to smoke today. I want real cigarettes. I don’t know why. Probably because I’m so bored. But I don’t want to be a smoker again. I smell awful, I start coughing, I have to clear my throat all the time...it sucks. But I wish I could have one pack and then quit. But I know that’s not the way addiction works. I would be back to smoking right away.

Uuuugh I just don’t know what to do.