ok, CCL, i won't ask if you can talk to your therapist. i will ask you get please try to get one, and would hope that you don't take it badly. you do need someone to talk to about these behaviors and thoughts. also, you need to tell your main MD about your dr shopping and the meds your on, etc. the depakote could be interacting with another med or something, and he wouldn't know of course, because he doesn't know about the others meds you're taking. i hope you consider this. i know someone who did this and the outcome was poor

i wish you well and safe,

kd