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Moose72 · Jul 30, 2018, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

My thoughts are still weird and dark, but are calming down a little bit now that I finished my period.Well, I think, let's see how this day goes :/ These past few periods have been like falling down a rabbit hole and I almost completely lose insight. I have always dreaded them, but after these three I am actually scared I could hurt myself.

Possible trigger:

Three periods ago I stopped lexapro and had to remove everything from my apartment so I couldn't hurt myself because I really thought I might. Two periods ago I was happier than usual before, but got mixed with depression/irritability as it started. I felt very impulsive and wanted to take pills--ended up with an open bottle in my hand and had to fight the urge. Was also doing other reckless things like speeding and had to catch myself and stop myself. This past one, I was all over the place and I think mixed based on how happy and energetic I was plus not sleeping enough, then this got combined with dark violent thoughts towards myself that I really wanted to act on. I again thought I might need to remove myself from ways to hurt myself.

I honestly don't feel that much better right now, but just a tiny bit more insight. This is really tough right now. I hope I can get something figured out within the next few weeks before this starts over again. Okay, going to do some work at the library because that is sort of helping keep me occupied.

Re your trigger part of your post: watch that carefully. Thats how I started off before I wentthrough with it. I think theres a post in a thread about it- it starts with "triggger warning" and all the posts are such.