I think my clarity really depends upon the amount of stress I am in and whether or not I am alone at home. Thanks for the compliment.

Now to be brutally honest, to be a scientist you need an immense amount of support from family, that's considering you're healthy. I unfortunately have a terrible memory. Dad's always like "the more the better", while mom's always like ,"Kiddo, take the textbook" while I am not even allowed to use the computer in our home. While my classmates are hitting on girls and riding bikes geared bikes, I am stuck at home feeling sick and discouraged... Whenever I explain my situation I get lost and I wonder, "What should I do?" I don't know, really.

I think I can only rely upon myself to shape myself as a scientist. I keep telling myself it's mostly the patients benefiting so it's cause combined with ambition and talent and will. So according to the law of karma it should work. But I am highly skeptical of every religion myself, so it's a bit of paradox here. Now, I wish I could heal myself... going out to a morning walk would be great idea, but the rest of the day should be okay as well, as to heal my cognition.