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Well, I just wanted to update everyone. I think the last time I was here I was questioning leaving. I had mixed emotions, H had cheated, and I was struggling not to feel like things ending were my fault.
Well I made it. I made a clean break, got divorce papers made up, signed and to the lawyer, I got a place to live. The same place as last time. It is the house I grew up in as a kid. I have my daughter with me and I have my cat and horse with me.
I am working 25 hours a week, which is huge for me. Being gone from my house and with people/a person for that length of time is overwhelming. I am still a little freaked out with the whole "bill paying" part of grown up life. It is just a lot of new experiences.
I am still on auto pilot somewhat. I have not completely relaxed and settled into this new life, but I am sure I will eventually. The nightmares have stopped.
The panic attacks have halted. The depression is not as severe. I am getting in better physical shape.
H is stupid. HE has pics all over facebook of him and his new gf which he moved in the day I moved out. He is setting her up for the same treatment he did me. I wish her the best. I wish she would get as far away from him as possible before it is to late.
H has gone from "upstanding" pillar in the community, deacon of the church, reliable business man to smoking, drinking, and cheating. So much for living like a "man of hte cloth" which he always professed to be and told everyone else they were not.
Those are not my problems any more. I am ready to embrace this new life, and see what I can make it. I wanted to say a special thank you to everyone here who has held me together over the years. Thank you everyone listened to me vent, whine, and panic. Every person who said "Man You Are Crazy." I want to thank every person who has prayed, who has talked me down off of an emotional ledge. I could not have done it with out your help. Thank you each and everyone. I am going to put this same thread in the Kudo's forum to.
I think that is the one where I can make sure you all know how valuable you are to me.
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