Absolutely awful, devastating session today.

For many months now, we've been working towards talking about a memory that I've never discussed with anyone. I resisted, distracted, resisted more... we've been very disconnected lately, and he told me that we were most likely to connect if we stopped looking at distracting topics and got back to actually talking about this memory.

So, I did it. I pushed REALLY hard, and I told him most of the content of the memory tonight. And it was mildly OK until... until he just left me in complete and total silence for the last 10 minutes of our session.

I was completely locked inside my own head, I couldn't even move my body, and he said nothing. He KNOWS how much I hate silence. I have told him so many times... Time was up, and I just said, angrily, "I guess we're done then...thanks for leaving me in silence..."

I've emailed 2x since leaving... not even angry emails, just desperate pleas of "where ARE you? Where were you? I need you...I needed you... why did you abandon me when I trusted you to be there to catch me?"

I've fallen and broken every limb...he wasn't there. No one was there to catch me.

I don't know what to do anymore.