Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
This topic is close to my own heart with my experience of our own Denial in therapy last week and the understanding of the need for it.
There was a crossroads when a choice was made within us to separate from all self experience and self knowledge in order to be able to function in any capacity at all. In therapy last week we re-experienced this and experienced self as a bodyless head floating high above all, severed from all connection with self.
It had to be that way.
It was the only way.
We were able to see how separate it had to be, how much had to left behind/ignored/denied/cut off/abandoned.
Self knowledge, self truth, self experiencing, self feeling, self ownership was all sacrificed for the opportunity to survive through it and hold on to a chance to come out the other side.
All self was disowned.
Our path is different to yours but with a similar theme it seems.
I don't think it all has to be taken in at once.
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Yes.
I totally understand everything you’ve said.
All last week I kept thinking that I didn’t even feel human.
The feeling that my life has been at the expense of other people’s bad choices when to my core. It did something to me.
I felt what you said about “all self was disowned” and it resonated with me that that’s been my whole life.
Denial is full front and I don’t think that this is going to be easy or without pain and tears.
There is much more that I could say but I think that pretty much wraps it up.
I welcome it.
It feels like long misunderstood freedom, without knowing why or which way to go.