Hi Greensleaves, I never knew you were asian. I think that's pretty cool. I do agree your mom is not cool and her statement was hurtful. I also agree re:safety issues.

Now, I want to ask you to just think about something for me. I do not excuse your mother's words. However, if your culture is about meeting like or a little different people for marriage and you find yourself with someone very different it is a cultural thing. I do not think racism is okay. I am wondering out loud about cultural expectations since I married someone from a very different culture and regret that I didn't understand more about how hard that was for my spouses parents. They had cultural expectations about carrying on the culture. Our relationship had to be mourned before it could be accepted. My MIL is wonderful and I adore her now but those first few years were hard. It was about cultural values and norms. I hope I am making sense. Just wondering where your mom's head is at about her racism.