Therapist has been gone for 4 weeks now and this week she's back.

I had a very difficult summer with a couple of mental health emergencies (SH and ptsd related paranoia) and I just feel I don't know how to go back to therapy.

I feel so completely confused: like I am a different person, like I never had therapy, like I don't know her.

I have missed her and needed therapy so badly during these weeks, but now the mere thought of going back to therapy puts me on the verge of collapse.

I should add I had appointments with one of her colleagues but I cancelled. I couldn't deal with talking to a different person.

I hope I make it to the session this Thursday, otherwise I might have to go to the emergency because I am literally losing my mind.

How can a break destroy me so much