I do not know what is wrong with him, but one distinct possibility is that he is actually mentally ill. He needs to get to a pdoc to be evaluated to help him get a handle on his behavior. There also is a real possibility that his behavvior will not change, particularly if he is not willing to help himself by getting help. You are not responsible for his behavior, what he says to you, and how he is feeling. He is IMO being abusive toward you. I think the reason is irrelevant. He needs to understand this instead of giving excuses and not trying to do anything about it.

I had a girlfriend who was abused by her husband for ten years. He would hit her even when pregnant with his child. He would take his girl friends home with him. She complained during this abuse. He left her and his children, went into Mexico, found another woman, married this woman while married to my girlfriend, smuggled her into the US, and had a child with her.

My girlfriend and her children spent time with me. I fell in love with her and her children. She would purposely get into fights with me pushing my buttons. Then she would hold her face toward to me and turned it to show me her cheek. This is when I discovered that she was trying to get me to slap her. I walked away. When I was taking care of my girlfriend and her children, I found out that she still romantically loved her ex husband. I had been talking to her and helping her as much as I possibly could while she was with me. I then decided to leave her so she can come to terms with her love for her ex husband. I still held up my promise to her that I will always be there for her and her children. Now it is twennty years later and I am still helping her.

What I discovered is that I could not help her no matter how I tried, no matter how well I treated her and her children. It turned out to be a terrible experience but I still wanted to stay and help. This did not do me or her any good. I felt the best thing for her was for me to leave her, no matter how difficult this was for me, and this was very very difficult for me to have done.

I think you should consider doing the same. IMO you need to leave him to give him space. He needs this space in order for him to take responsability for his behavior and get help. If he decides to run away again by moving, that is his decision. You are not responsible for him and how he feels and what he does.

All IMO FWIW