I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I've felt it too, and still do in a few areas. It's hard to learn to be content with what you have when it's not what you've dreamed of. It might get easier in time. Maybe you'll even find a way to still achieve those dreams, even if to a lesser extent than is ideal. I hope you can find peace either way, it's a horrible feeling to be lost in your hopes and dreams.